Expectations

I try to never go into situations expecting too much because that is the easiest way to be let down.   First off let me give some background about the agency that I have the pleasure of working with.  The agency is called SmartGirl.  They are a non-profit that is dedicated to help young girls learn about themselves in a safe and encouraging environment.  Growing up can be really tough especially for girls.  I was told that there was a 22 hour training session before I would be able to facilitate my own group of girls in the community.  So now that the background has been laid out back to the purpose of this blog post,  EXPECTATIONS!!!!  What were they or what are they?

I had no idea what to expect from my 22 hours of training.  I was honestly expecting the worse and by that I mean a lot of classroom learning and tons of powerpoints.  I also could not figure out what kind of group I would be running was the training just going to be about learning how to talk to the girls?  Was I only going to learn about what not to say and the legal procedures for reporting types of abuse?  Well I was right I did learn about all of those things but I would have never imagined how the program worked.  I expected that it was a mentor group that we would just kind of hang out and talk to the girls if they had questions maybe help with homework or something.  I was thinking it was more about girls just getting to know an older girl and being able to see that if times are hard in middle school it will get better.  I was blown away at how amazing this program was set up.  It is structured and has lesson plans to follow and super fun games and activities.  The best part is that it all serves a point.  Our whole “training” was us participating in a few of the activities that we will be able to do with our girls.  Understanding that by asking the right questions we are able to think critically and make connections that have always been there just never understood.

One of the things we did right away was play a name game that was honestly very intimidating to me at first.  I am not out going in an environment that I don’t know people and I did not really know anyone at this training.  So the game goes like this:

                1. Take the first letter of your first name, mine is “L” for Lindsey.

                2. Then you had to think of an adverb that starts with the same letter as your name I went with                “loud”.

                3. Then there is an action that goes with that, I put my hands around my mouth to exaggerate   being loud.

                4.  Now we started, a person started and demonstrated what they had come up with and then group repeated it.  Then it was the person standing to either sides turn to show theirs with a repeat back from the group.  We continued around the circle until everyone had went.

By the end you had done so many different actions in front of this group that it was hard not to feel a little at ease.  That is when the questions began.  The first question was why did we do this?  I had not made the connection to my feel of easement to the activity that we had played until I was asked to really think about.  It makes sense by everyone participating and acting equally as silly as each other the pressures seem to start to ease off.

Now as far as what I am expecting in the future, I could not even really begin.  I know that I did not really enjoy my first few years of middle school.  They were weird and difficult and everyday seemed to be a new battle.  One day pink was in and the next it was green and I always felt like I was a day behind.  It was not until I stopped trying to keep up with what was in that things started to fall into place for me.  Honestly I am expecting to meet a great group of girls at the school and getting to know the other girls that I will be working with.  If our training is any indication of how my expectations are valid then I cannot wait.  I know these girls are going to teach me as much as I teach them if not more.  And I do not even want to think of how they are going to do that.  I love suprises.

Post #3

                There is a saying that says “You have to know where you have been to know where you are going.”  When I was asked this week to identify with a women’s movement and men’s movement I had to think start to think about my past and everything that I have experienced to become the person I am now.  Reading about the different movements in our past and present that have gotten our society to this point was eye open at times and other situations are still hard for me to understand. 

                I most identify with the third wave feminists, they acknowledge that being a woman is not simply one obstacle that we face.  The textbook we are using says that we are different in “race, class, sexual orientation, body shape and size and (dis)ablility”.  So my experience with discrimination is going to differ from everyone else’s.  There is a strong sense of individualism that is key to this third wave.  I do not believe that what is good for me is going to be good for everyone else.  We each experience different things in our lives.   I think this movement is about doing what feels right for you.  If I wanted to be a doctor (typically a male profession) I could or I could choose to be a nurse (typically a female profession).  I appreciate that the women of the third wave do not stress the need for women to go after male dominated fields to prove a point but stress the importance of women going after things they personally want. 

  I am lucky enough to live in a society that I have not been outright denied anything that I have wanted based on my sex, that does not mean that I have not had to fight to gain the respect I deserved in those situations.  My experiences with prejudices from males because of my sex have always been because of stereotypes that were already in place.  In second grade I played little league baseball.  I was the only girl on my team and there was only one other girl in the league out of 8 teams.  The boys on my team we nice enough to me but without the adult coaches I would have never been given a chance to prove that girls can play sports.  After a few practices I was able to prove that I could play that my sex did not make me play any worse than anyone else.  I also experienced the same thing when I arrived on my first ship in the Navy.  The stereotype of women in the Navy is not a very flattering one.  The guys hear stories about how women only join to find husbands, or are ready to make false reports of sexual harassment if they do not get their own way.  It was a long first few months onboard, the guys did not want to talk to me for fear of being reported.  They were also scared to give me work in case I could not do it.  After a few months of sticking to my guns and proving myself as a hard worker, I was no longer seen as a “Navy girl” but I was a Sailor.  We used to say there are no men and women in the Navy only Sailors.  I think that is kind of how the third wave looks at things.  There are no men or women just people.  We need a society that can appreciate but not judge based on our differences.

I don’t think that reading about the third wave movement had such an impact on me.  I have never really thought of myself as a feminist, but I have always tried to do what I wanted to regardless of if it was girly or not.  What did have an impact on me was reading about the womanists.  I grew up shelttered and have never really was exposed to a lot of racism.  I never would have thought that women fighting for their rights would be so exclusive. 

The mens movement that I would identify with is the Fathers' Rights Groups.  I love my father and have been lucky enough that always have him in my life.  He has always done his best to be there for me when I need him.  This movement is about helping fathers to get 50% of the custody of children if the partents are not living together.  I think if men were expected to also be apart of a childs life legally then the society will have to change and support a positive image of the man being able to be a great father.  I can not believe that only 2 states in America encourage courts to grant joint custody.  Possible once our court system begins to get younger judges in the courtrooms our men will have better chances.

Post #1

      So here is my first class prompt that needs to be published here I need to talk about the earliest memory I have about the expectations of being a girl I had and the most recent.  This is kind of a hard for me because I have 2 brothers and grew up in a neighborhood of boys.  Short story I was a tom boy through and through I even broke my arm playing football with the boys in second grade.  Not to mention I joined the Navy where I knew that I would be out numbered 1 girl to every 4 boy. 

      But while I was trying to come up with this memory I did remember a time that I went to Glamour Shots with my mom.  It was a great time I was about 5 years old.  I felt like a movie star I got to get my hair done and had my whole face done with makeup.  That is what girls do right; we dress up, do our hair and put on our makeup.  It was a great memory, and the only time as a child that I remember really becoming girly, I felt pretty.

     Most recently I was on a date and while we were waiting for the waiter to come get our order I had made my intentions of dinner selection known to my date.   And once the waiter came to get our order my date ordered my meal as well.  He took charge that is what we expect out of men right?  To be honest I liked it, I still hold true to some of the gender expectations.  I like a guy who likes to speak for me once I make a decision for myself.  I choose my meal and my date took the opportunity to relay that information for me. 

Why I am here

So let me begin by first telling you why I am doing this.  I am going to college so I can get a degree and get the job I want.  This is my first ever attempt at a blog.  I have never really read blogs but have kept personal journals of my own in the past.  So the idea of airing my personal thoughts to the world can be a little intimidating.  I want to be a Social Worker when I grow up. And to do that there are a few prerequisites that I have to complete.  One of them is taking an Art and Letters class.  I decided that taking Gender and Communication would help me understand possible populations (a population is a certain group of people you work with i.e.: homeless, youth, addicts.) in the future.

I am 25 years old, I have lived in 3 other countries (Wales, Japan and Iraq)  and visited 15 other countries.  I love to travel and realize that it’s a big world we live in.  I grew up in Thornton, CO and moved to Melbourne, FL my freshman year of high school.  It was a tough year to move and my freshman year is something I wish I could forget, but because of it I was able to find an exchange student program.  So my Sophomore year of high school disappeared and I ended up in Wales for my Junior/Senior year of high school.  I left home at 15 and never looked backed.  Once I was done with high school I joined the Navy.  I knew there I could keep travelling and not have to worry about homework.  I loved my time in the Navy and most days regret getting out but we all have to grow up some day right?

So here I am I’m doing homework and trying to adjust to being a civilian again.  I am very excited about learning how different the genders interact with each other and how exciting learning can be.  I know that the easy road is just behind me (going back in the Navy) but I need to choose the hard road because that’s where the big reward is.